You're the One.

Though cynical about pretty much everything else, I do believe that there is one person in the entire Universe who is your match. A series of events will lead you to him/her. In retrospect one often thinks…”What if I hadn’t got on that bus that day?” Or, “What if I hadn’t slipped on the banana peel just there?” etc, etc. It doesn’t matter. Destiny would have found some other ways for your paths to cross over and over again. That’s my belief.

It sometimes is hate at first sight, or the hate just develops over the many times you are unlucky enough to meet. As a hate-hate relationship develops, your thoughts are consumed with this one person. You spend sleepless nights imagining scenarios where you get to indulge your innermost desires…you slap him/her, kick him/her (ok, lets just assume it’s a her for argument’s sake), call her mother a &%$#2.

It is such an all-encompassing feeling of hate, that you have no room to hate another. It’s a monogamous relationship and the feeling is very rarely unrequited.

This person seems designed by malevolent forces to get your goat. They will say precisely the things you hate most with a look of utmost innocence, like: “All Bongolees (note the pronunciation…purely designed to irritate) speak funny” or “Writing is easy. Anyone can do it if they had the time”; “I think women are great. They’re so good at cooking and cleaning!”
The more naive and “unintentional” the comments and actions get the more intolerable it becomes. They make extra noise around you, turn up their annoying ring tones just to watch your face turn an unflattering shade of purple, call you a &^%$*. (Ok, tell me, how can you do that accidentally? It’s obvious she meant to say it! What does she mean she had forgotten I didn’t like to be called one?!?)

Even when you try to make amends and be extra nice they will assume you have some hidden nefarious scheme behind your overtures. If you wish them a very good morning they’ll think you’re being sarcastic and make a face that says “You bitch! You’re not going to get away with that!” If you take them out they’ll think the inexpensiveness of the place is meant to insult them. If you praise them they assume that they’re so DAMN good that I couldn’t help it.

In the end, after dancing the dance for several weeks, or in special cases months - the heat cools from fever pitch, feelings are less intense, maybe a sneaking feeling of dislike for someone else distracts you. You don’t listen to her every word any more for insults, you don’t obsess about the latest injury she’s done to you and tell everyone about it….let’s face it - you just don’t care that much any more!


The person who had been your one and only hate now starts receding from your thoughts, and soon - the intense passion is extinguished, the fire as cold and dead as ash.

And then that someone else who had caught your attention comes more and more into the picture…and the dance begins all over again.

It is time to move on.

:)