Beauty Tips...back on popular demand

Ok, here's the thing. Can any one of you TELL me why it's so important to be good-looking to human beings?

I mean, except for good grooming there's nothing you can do about it. (Correction: Except for good grooming and having completely disproportionate plastic parts surgically attached to your body.) You are quite accidentally born with symmetrical features, or a certain kind of hair, or skin, or body type…whatever is the standard of beauty at the time. Why do we set so much stock in an accident?

On the other hand there are other things which could be valued a great deal higher…something YOU as an individual, are directly responsible for. A talent you have honed and developed. Or a helpful, sunny disposition. A quick wit that makes people laugh. Let me preempt those smart alecs who will say all of these are also qualities you are born with.

To them, I say:
Isn’t it easier not to practice your craft and become like everyone else? Haven’t there been times cruel turns of fate have tempted you to become cynical and cheerless? Is it not way easier to sit at home counting your money and not share it with anyone?

If your answer to these questions is “No”, I would suggest you stop wasting everyone’s time and go away.

For those who remain: look at the BIG picture. We are not the only beings on the planet. If we are to be so sensitive about how we are perceived, broaden your scope and think of the others. (The blog has not taken a supernatural turn, I’m talking about other LIVING beings.)

Picture two cats sitting on a wall.

A handsome man, (thrilled at how handsome he is, no doubt) bounds across the street whistling.

Black cat to Ginger cat. “What’s up with that male human? Do you think he’s gone mad? What if he has rabies? Run for your lives!”

See? His perfectly chiseled cheekbones got no mention at all.

They go and settle themselves near a dustbin.

The elephant-man, (you know, the guy in the movie who was so disfigured he was a circus attraction) walks past. Despite being the er…catty sort these cats make no comment.

Why? They just thought he looked a bit depressed and were wondering why.

Think of a broader picture than the animal kingdom, and you’ll find that we are not the only planet in the Universe.

Some time in the future we’ll intercept a message from aliens to the mother ship saying something like: ‘These humans are SO damn ugly. They have only two eyes’.

And if you’re still not convinced, and ahem, have a face only a mother can love - I have a beauty tip for you. Hang out with the elephant man (he’s a swell guy, I know him personally), and you’ll find the comparisons most flattering.