Recently, there’s been a buzz about scientists finding a way to make sperm out of a woman’s bone marrow, making men redundant, and eventually extinct. I stumbled across an article in the paper where the lady writer drones on and on about how wonderful the world will be without men…
Yeah right - if you’re lesbian!
Even then I think the joy of lesbianism would pall if you knew that is really the only option left to you.
Some people must be quite surprised to see me defending men because of my ‘feminist’ tag. To them (you know who you bloody are) I say, just because I believe men and women are equal does not make me a bra-burning, foaming at the mouth feminist. (The former activity is just simply wasteful - you’ll just have to go out and get another one by the time Monday comes around. And foaming at the mouth can be rather disgusting, especially at meal times.)
I for one say, my world has been greatly enriched by men and women alike, and I can’t imagine a life without either kind. The first man in my life, my Dad, means the world to me…and along with my mother lavished love and care on me I doubt I would ever be able to match when I have kids. Try telling every adoring little Daddy’s girl that the world is better off without men because women can make sperm now. Not only will she bite you in the leg, she will ask you enough awkward questions to make you regret it.
How about the first neighborhood Romeo who followed you around and wrote you letters? Remember how special you felt? (Until you discovered he had written out the exact same letter to six of your best friends…but that comes later.)
Or, all those male friends who you laughed with, shared shocking jokes with, and got the inside information on how the other half of the world lives. Can you imagine not ever having any of those conversations again? If all your friends were female, you wouldn’t really get very far with one of those revealing conversations. ‘You hit puberty when? Ahh ok. I knew that. That’s what happens? Yeah, I knew that too. Hey, let’s go lay down somewhere and die of boredom, shall we?’
And then, meeting the love of your life. Unless you’re lesbian (to go back to the first and second paragraph)…that’s never EVER going to happen. No love at fifth sight, no keeping it a secret from the world, no lying to your parents, no making plans for the future. No romance. Nothing, ZIP, nada.
For those who think men are a pain in the ass, I say, I totally agree. Sometimes. And I also think it my responsibility to point out -- had they not been around to BE a pain in the ass, we wouldn’t have half the fun telling them what pains in the ass they are.
And if you’re still not convinced that we need men around; just cast your mind back to our school days. Remember that spinster physics teacher who loathed everybody? Who made you cringe and cry just by looking at you? Who was so sadistic that you had nightmares about her a decade after you left school?
That’s how we’ll all turn out once men go extinct. And NO amount of bone marrow can make up for it!