Lesson # 3: Things.

Something else crucial to remember is “All things shall pass.”

Ok, MOST things. (Things = People, situations, your own personality traits which makes life difficult) Some things just hang around all your life making you miserable till the day you die. The good news (of course I talk about good news in my blog, sillies.) is even in those cases; you get more and more anaesthetized to how much they bother you.

But apart from those eternal thorns in your side; there are some things which might bother you spectacularly at some point; but seem astonishingly trivial a few years down the line.

Perfect the art of throwing your mind a few years into the future every time you think this is the worst you’ve ever felt – and you will always see that the worst is yet to come. What seems earth shattering right now will be shoved neatly into perspective by the next horror that awaits you around the corner.

And then you will feel positively Zen about any bad thing that happens to you.

I hope my lessons are helping you, boys and girls, to lead a happier, more productive life.
I’m glad to help.

Lesson # 2

It is very important, if you’d like to survive a full-sized life on earth, to have a sense of humour about yourself. It’s easy to laugh at other people, but are you secure enough to laugh at yourself? More often than not it’s, “that person is a failure, the other person is ugly; but my neighbour’s sister-in-law said that her cousin’s friend thought I was attractive. I was looking lovely in that sari that day. Blue is my color. Of course so is every other color. I’m talented too. Did I mention I can sing and dance? At the same time? With a pot balanced on my head as I hop on one leg?” Brrr…get a life, you desperate Loser.

If you don’t take yourself too seriously the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune won’t cut you as deep. How pitiable is the above person when someone finally tells her to her face that blue, and every other color besides, is definitely not her color. And had she stubbed her toe on something? She sounded like she was in a lot of pain, too.

However, I would like to warn my younger and ergo, less experienced readers, that self deprecation has its own pitfalls. If you get too carried away, you might end up with low self esteem, with you and the people around you believing every horrible thing you say about yourself.
I guess what I’m saying is one should be self respectful, but not delusional. Be prepared to laugh at the embarrassing things that happen to you. But never run yourself down to such an extent that people think it’s OK to join in. (“She’s always carrying on about her weight! How would I know she didn’t want ‘Happy Birthday You Big Fatty!’ written on her birthday cake?”)

Same goes for laughing at your own community, country, gender. It doesn't mean you aren't proud of your identity. It just means you're alive to the foibles and flaws of your group; and thus that much closer to improving those things.
I have often been accused of not being patriotic enough because I’ve had the balls to discuss some common flaw all of us have.

Please remember, Boys and Girls -- Denial does not equal Self Respect.

30 things I’ve learnt in as many years and if you don’t agree you can piss off

Lesson # 1:

Your height is the only thing about your appearance which doesn’t go to hell if you let things slide for a while. For everything else, unless you don’t wax it thread it put cream on it take vitamin tablets for it take regular exercise, drink water for it everyday or in extreme cases go to the doctor for it, it’ll get worse every time you check in the mirror.
Can you imagine going home every time and having people comment on your weight AND your height? You have got SO MUCH shorter! You should do headstands at 4 in the morning like your Auntie, look how tall she’s got.

(Coming up...Lesson # 2)

The Big Three O.

In two days I won't be in my 20s anymore.

It's a powerful thought.

I'm not particularly sad because it isn't like a whooped it up in my 20s, so there's not much to miss. (Three negatives in a sentence! I wonder what Freud would say to that if he were alive. It is well known, of course, that Freud in his free time hung around blogs; analysing each word of little-known, middle-aged Bengali women.)

But what hits me like a brick in the head is that this means another decade gone and a few more doors closing. I probably never will be an ice skater like I wanted to be. Unless I can turn something around in the next two days. (Can anyone loan me a frilly little pink number in size L? And a magic wand, if you see any lying around.)

I know 30 isn't old at all, even if it was (I hasten to add to all those youngsters rolling their bored eyes with a 'yuop dawg right, aigh' expression) : age is but a number.

Not to mention that the line of work I'm in (i.e. writing documents noone ever reads) there's no sell-by date. If I had had a more exciting life as an actress, or an ice skater, or an er...lady of the night -- I would've been thrown over by an 18 year old smug bitch by now.

To list a few other pros (no, I'm not talking about ladies of the night anymore)-- now that our life expectancy is around 90, I've only covered one-third of my life. I just hope all my body parts last the rest of the way, they already show plenty of wear and tear. (Call me if you'd like further details on my health.)

I, jokes aside, really do believe I've learnt a LOT in these 30 years. About life and love and the world. I intend to save the pearls I've gathered for a later blog tentatively titled "30 Things I've Learnt in as Many Years -- If You Don't Agree With Me, PISS Off".

My sister tells me not to worry; she feels much better at 35 than she felt in her 20s. And she's not just saying that, if you knew her you'd see for yourself.

She may be right.

It's a Friday night at home; I loll on my bed tapping out this post from my husband's laptop (our PC died half a year ago and the laptop took her place in our affections); and he plays along to Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" a few feet away from me. I've had a full and not unpleasant (despite all my posts to the contrary) day at work, I've visited a friend and played with her little son, and spent a pleasant couple of minutes (every now and then) conversing with friends; both at work and at home by email. I've just been handed two birthday cards from my thoughtful in-laws and have spoken to most of my family members in the last 24 hours. My birhday weekend promises to be a full one: with cousins, nephews, poorly done waxworks ("Louis Tussauds"; some wild oat of Madame's, I presume), a Mr. Big concert with husband and friends.

There's no getting away from it: life's good. 20 wasn't too bad, but the life I've made for myself at 30 is pretty damn good as well.

'Nuff said. Happy Birthday to ME! :)