Monday, August 24, 2009

Hokum & Hooey.

I was watching a fairly enjoyable movie and something Chris Rock’s character said really echoed what I think. Something to the effect that “living every day like it’s your last” is a bunch of hokum, because you’ll probably live till you're 80 with all your (definitely regrettable, with that attitude) actions till then.

I mean really, it sounds grand when people say it. Like so many other things people are fond of saying but don’t believe a word of themselves. Apply it to your own life and you’ll know what I mean, if you don’t already.

Take my life. (It’s my blog, so don’t expect me to talk about yours.) If I took it into my head to live tomorrow like it was my last day -- this is what I would do, in all honesty:

Shave my head. Call up a lot of people and be ‘honest’; just like they’ve always been with me (You’re not all that good-looking yourself, and you have an ass the size of Madhya Pradesh, man!). Quit my job. Put on a LOT of make- up, something tight; and go out and blow my life savings on something fun.

Problems will arise the next day, when the sad fact that even though I lived the previous day LIKE it was my last day, it actually wasn’t. I’ll look like a chubby Sinhead O Connor. No one will speak to me. I’ll have no money and no means to recover what I’ve blown on a Paris Hilton style party in every city marathon. As well as a faint chance of a night in the lock up.

So the resultant situation may push me towards making the day my last; but that isn’t what they meant, was it?

Similarly -- “Nothing is impossible”.

A lot of things are impossible.

Boys and Girls, PLEASE, puh-leeaaaase don’t listen to sappy children’s movies or books that have the good-looking and sincere ‘Daddy’ character consoling his offspring, who has just spent a day trying to invent a time-machine, but-just-couldn’t. Boo HOO.

“If you WANT something badly enough, and go after it, Nothing is impossible, darling. And remember Daddy loves you very much.”

Excuse me while I shake my head sadly. What’s the matter with the good looking but sincere Daddy? Doesn’t he know that if what he said were true, the world would be full of flying pigs? Messing up children’s heads with all this nonsense is what drives them to alcoholism and crime anyway, because they’re thinking, “If everything is possible and after all my hard work it still didn’t happen… then how big a loser does that make me???”

At the most one could say:

“If you already have the prodigious ability (tested by several doctors) and patience at 5 years old to build a time machine, and a multi- billion dollar corporation financially backing you on the project; nothing is impossible.”

Kinda different, innit?

And so on, really. “Be yourself”; “It’s the thought that counts”; “It doesn’t matter if you win or lose; what matters is that you TRIED”; "We're ALL winners."

It’s all hooey. Someone hand me a shovel.


db said...

I'll add another one (a Bengali favourite) - 'failure is the pillar of success'.

Sure. I've been looking for it since the seventh standard.

PS - You missed the tattoo & additional piercings. :P

Haimanti said...

shave your head? but you have just coloured your hair! btw, which shade is it?

diya said...

hehehehe! good one! someone in our office has a sign up that says 'keep calm and carry on'. no! what's the point in that?! shout and scream, i say - and get out of work as soon as you can!

diya said...

i think you should have a dragon tattooed on your shaved head.

Ushasi said...

db: Hehe...yes, pillars pillars everywhere/ But no success to see! (I mean me not you. Living in Goa is an achievement in itself in my book.)

Piercings and tattoos are not my scene. Too painful, especially if it's the Last day of my Life.

Hai: It was ostensibly a dark purple which would glow warmly in the light; but Jeet claims I've dyed it black all over again, and that I'm a perfect idiot. So I didnt bother with colour protect hair products and it's same ol' by now.

Diya, I like your saying. Maybe we can mass produce posters to that effect.

Haimanti said...

is it? mane purple doesnt show??? i was planning on a dark blue, so obviously wont do that! tui ekhon lal kor,otai "shob theke best"