Monday, June 22, 2009

Lotus Bum.

I occasionally get -- though they’ve been getting fewer and farther between, with the years -- out of body experiences. I won’t call them experiences, because a split second can’t really be an experience. That reminds me of an episode of Frasier. A woman calls into his radio show complaining about sex with her much older husband, and says,“I’ve been inoculated slower!”. (Ha ha.)

That was a total digression, this post isn’t about that, however much my readers cry out for it.

So going back to what I was saying, I very once in a while get a feeling like I’ve just popped out of my body for a wee second, and everything is as clear as day. It’s almost like it’s your body which confuses you. For that one moment you get to slip your skin; and as you hover a few feet away everything makes sense, everything is in its proper perspective, there is no pain, no annoyances; the things around you just ARE, nothing more. And then as though your body realizes it’s mistake, it tucks you back in with a quick imperceptible action, like a lady with an errant bra strap, and it’s all normal again.

There are other times, when I’m not thinking about anything In particular, that I get a different version of it. You know the trance-like state one goes into when you’re a passenger on a car or bus (I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re driving the thing); where you’re just vacantly staring into space until you get to point B. My eye will happen to alight on one of the hundreds of people that I pass on every trip, and I get a quick flash in my mind’s eye of a window or some such. I like to think it’s insight into that person’s life, and feel a little bit like Bruce Willis in ‘Unbreakable’, on the rare occasions it has happened.

So far I haven’t put it to the test, viz, follow these unsuspecting people home and check if the grills on their window match the one in my vision. I’d rather not, because this makes me feel like I have a superpower and I don’t want proof that it’s an eye infection or mental disease. Though totally useless and unreliable; a superpower is still not something you sneeze at.

Do any of you have a superpower? Let me know if you do and we can form a League Of Totally Useless Superpowers for the Betterment (or not) of Undeserving Mankind. (LOTUS BUM).


Prog Power said...

Yes maydem, I also lotus bum.

My last OOBE was seconds prior to my car's steering trying to get an "insight" into my ribs. Alcohol induced Lotus Bum.


I took the liberty of turning Lotus Bum into a noun. I'm also a great beach bum and if there's no beach, a couch bum.

Therefore, I am the ultimate bumming machine. I will head this organization.

Lara said...

When I was 13 I used to think that I could get a song in my head and then will it to be on the radio when I turned the thing on. It worked all the time, after all. I just seem to have ignored the fact that I would be willing onto the radio THE most popular ballads of the moment -- Every Rose Has Its Thorn was my greatest success. As though I was the only one wanting to hear it. Hehe. :)

Ushasi said...

Prog, since I was practically a witness (by marriage) to your alcohol induced lotus bum, and you make such a good case for your others forms of bum, I hereby declare you Grand President of Lotus Bum.

Lara, that's funny! But don't let logic take your superpower away from you. Lotus Bum is open to you whenever you want to join us. We could use people who can influence the choice of songs on the radio. Can you will some popular songs NOT to be played as well? ;)

db said...

I suppose lucid dreams and highway hypnosis are too commonplace to make the cut. :(

Any chance I can get a minor role? Junior shareholder? Gongboy? Anything?

Haimanti said...

me a spotboy rather a girl?

Rashmi said...

Can I have an honorary membership!? I am sure I have millions of LOTUS BUMs but currently my rather ordinary power of memory is being a bit of a bummer! :D (Sorry, COULD NOT resist that one!)

Ushasi said...

Just commenting on this post automatically admits you into LOTUS BUM, though I didn't advertize it in case I was swamped by comments. (Always a hideous danger that haunts me at night.)